ASAAD SHIDIAK (7)

8. A messenger called this morning with the following note.

"To our brother Asaad Esh Shidiak: May God bless you.—We beg you to come home to-night, and not wait till Sunday. We have pledged our mother that you shall come. If you fail to do so, you will trouble us all. Your brother,

To this letter, Asaad sat down, and instantly wrote the following reply:

"To our much honoured and very dear brother Galed: God preserve him.—Your note has reached us, in which you speak of our coming home to-night, and say, that if we do not come, we trouble you all.

"Now if we were in some distant land, your longing after us in this manner might be very proper; but we are near you, and you have been here, and seen us in all health, and we have seen you. Then quiet our mother, that we, through the bounty of God, are in perfect health, and that we have great peace in the Lord Jesus Christ, peace above all that the world can afford, and abundant joy in the Holy Ghost above all earthly joy. But as to our coming up this evening, we do not find it convenient, not even though we had the strongest desire to see our mother and you.

"I beg you all to love God, and to serve him in our Lord Jesus Christ. This is of all things the most important; for if we love God, if he but renew our hearts by the holy Ghost, we shall enjoy each other's society for ever and ever.

"And now we are prevented from coming to you, and you know we are not void of all desire to see you, but the hindrances to which we have alluded, are, we think, a sufficient apology. We beg you to accept our excuse, and to apologize for us to our mother, and we pray God to pour out his grace richly on you all, and lengthen your days.

"P. S. Tell our mother not to think so much of these earthly things but rather of God our Saviour."

This letter had been gone scarcely time sufficient to reach Hadet, when the mother herself was announced at the door. We welcomed her with all cordiality, and treated her with all the respect and attention we could. But all we could do or say did not alter her resolution to get her son away, if in her power. She besought him by the honour he owed her, by the love he professed for her, by his regard for the reputation of her family, for religion itself, and for his own personal safety, that he would immediately accompany her home; and when she found him inflexible, she declared she would never stir out of the house unless he went with her.

To all this Asaad replied, "To what purpose would it be, that I should go home? You wish me to go, you say, that people may be convinced that I am not mad. But you, who come hither, and see, and converse with me, say, after all, that I am mad. How can it be expected that I should convince others that I am not mad, when my own mother will not believe it. Or do you think that if I once get out among you, the air of Hadet will change my opinions, or induce me to be silent? All these are vain expectations. I see no object to be gained. If I should go to Hadet, and be constantly disputing with the people, and telling them, that you are all going astray; that you are worshipping idols instead of the living God; that I could wish to tear down every picture in your churches; that the bread and wine of the Lord's Supper are not Jesus Christ; that I believe the pope to be the beast in the revelation,[I] whose business is to deceive the people and ruin their souls;—by all this, I should injure your feelings, enrage the people, excite the opposition of the emirs, and bishops, and patriarchs, and then return here just in the state I am in now."

The youngest brother, Phares, who accompanied his mother, conversed freely and in good temper, and listened with attention to all Asaad's arguments, by which he endeavoured to justify his views and determinations. But no argument or evidence could convince the disconsolate mother. Asaad had repeated the name of Christ, and the word of God so often, that she, at last, in a fit of impatience exclaimed, "Away, with Christ, and the word of God; what have we to do with them!" and when we pointed out to Asaad some text of Scripture, which we thought applicable in any case, she would endeavour to close the book, or catch it from him, as if it taught paganism, or witchcraft. During her stay we dined, and as Asaad took the meat upon his plate, and ate it without a scruple, in this season of Lent, it was remarked with what a gaze of wonder she regarded him. She seemed to say in her heart, "All is over—my son is lost!"

After some hours of troublesome expostulation and entreaty, during which Asaad once said he could bear it no longer, and rose, and shook my hand to go, it was finally settled that the mother should go home without him, but that to save the family from the insupportable shame, which threatened it, Asaad should give her a paper, stating, in effect, that he was not a follower of the English. When the paper was finished, "Now," said Asaad, "go to your home in peace;" and walked away; but suddenly recollecting himself, he called his brother back, and said, "Phares, I wish you fully to understand, that I love you, and I have one request to make of you, which is, that you will take the New Testament, and read it attentively."—"Give me a New Testament," said Phares, quickly. We gave him the book, and he went his way, evidently affected and softened by the interview.

9. The shekh before mentioned communicated to Asaad, through the medium of a priest, the offer of his daughter in marriage, on condition he should leave the English.

10. Set apart a day of fasting and prayer on Asaad's account. He was observed not to be in a happy temper. Towards evening he spoke of going home. I hoped he would finish writing the statement we had requested of him, "for," said I, "if you go home I shall not see you again for months." "No," said he, "perhaps not for years." His manner was very peculiar. I knew not what was the matter, till, in the evening, after a long conversation on the evidences of inspiration, he said, "I have been in deep darkness to-day. My heart has been full of blasphemy, such as I have scarcely ever known. I have even doubted the existence of God. But now I am relieved, and I would just say, I shall not go home to-morrow, as I hinted."

This temptation seems to have arisen chiefly from a discrepancy in the scriptures, which I had shewed him, and which I knew not how to reconcile. He begged that, for the present, I would by no means shew him another such.

11. One of the neighbours brought Shidiak a letter, cautioning him, if he went to the shekh's house, not to smoke or drink with him.

12. Word came to Asaad, that the shekh was with the family below, and would be glad to see him. Asaad went down, but in a few minutes came up, pale and trembling, and said he was exceedingly dizzy and faint. He had just taken coffee below, attended with suspicious circumstances, and begged to know if he might not be poisoned. We opened a medical book we had, and explained to him, as rapidly as possible, the symptoms of a poisoned person. "Oh! these are my feelings," said he, and fell upon his knees before his seat in silent prayer. We immediately gave him an emetic, which operated well, and before night he was relieved of every alarming symptom. The youth who gave the coffee, being sent for, gave good evidence of having had no bad intentions; and notwithstanding many suspicious circumstances, we did not think the evidence of an attempt at poison sufficiently strong, to prosecute any public inquiry into the matter.

16. A youth from Der el Kamer called to see Asaad. He remarked, that he once saw a priest at his village tear in pieces five of these books of ours, but he could not tell for what reasons. He had, apparently, never seen the ten commandments before, and was very much surprised to find image-worship so expressly condemned in them. A letter was received by Asaad from the patriarch, written in very plausible terms.

17. Four of the relatives of Asaad came down, and succeeded in persuading him to accompany them home. He said he could not believe, after all that has been said, that they would do him violence, and he strongly expected that his visit to Hadet would do good. A majority of us opposed his going with all we could say; but he thinks he knows the people here better than we do. He left us toward evening, expecting to be absent only a few days.

24. Phares Shidiak came to my house to day, and wished to speak with me in private.

"Yesterday morning," said he, "as I was in my room reading the New Testament, my brother Mansoor entered, drew a sword he had, and gave me a blow upon the neck. I continued with the book in my hand, until one snatched it from me. Mansoor afterwards drew up his musket, threatening to shoot me; but my mother interfered to prevent him. My brother Tannoos hearing a bustle, came in with a cane, and began cudgelling me, without stopping to inquire at all into the merits of the case, calling out, 'Will you leave off your heresy, and go to church like other people, or not?' Mansoor not finding Asaad present, as he seemed to have expected, went to Asaad's chest which stood near me, seized all the books he had received of you, Hebrew, Syriac, Italian, and Arabic, tore them, one by one, in pieces, and strewed them on the floor.

"In the course of the day, I came down near where the soldiers of the emir are encamped, and passed the night in company with my brother Galeb. This morning he returned, with a line from me to Asaad, and I came off to Beyroot, with the full determination never to go home again. And now I will either go to some place in this country where I can enjoy my liberty or I will take ship, and leave the country altogether."

As he wished my advice, I counselled him neither to go from the country, nor from his home, but to return, and at least make a further trial of doing good to his relatives, and bearing their persecutions. He, however, continued inflexible.

In the space of a few hours, Galeb came in search of Phares, with a letter from Asaad, of which the following is a copy.

"To my beloved brother Phares; the Lord Most High preserve him. Your departure caused me great grief. First, because you were impatient when trial and persecution came upon you. It is a thing we are regularly to expect, that if we hope in God in this world, we shall give universal offence. But we have another city, for which we hope. Do not lose your courage, for you have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. Remember, we cannot share in the glory of Christ, if we share not also in his sufferings. Therefore, rejoice whenever you are tried; rejoice, and never be sad; for our faith is sure.

"Secondly, I was grieved because you gave me no information where you were going, and what you intended to do. Now, it is not becoming, that we should do any thing rashly, that is, till we have prayed to God for direction. Come home, then, and let us set apart a season of fasting and prayer to God, and do what is most agreeable to him. Perhaps it is best to let our works preach in silence, in these evil days.

"You must know, that if you fail to come home, you will give us great pain, and this, you know, would be inconsistent with love. Jesus says, 'By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.' You well know how much joy and consolation it would give us to see you; do not then deny us this pleasure, but come at all events. If you do not come, it may be an injury both to yourself and me. I wish to see you, if it be only to say to you two words, and then act your pleasure; for not every word can be said with paper and pen. Farewell.