CHAPTER VIII (8)

April 28.—“Concluded the solemnity of the Lord’s supper with a discourse upon John, 14:15. ‘If ye love me, keep my commandments.’ At this time there appeared a very agreeable tenderness in the audience in general, but especially in the communicants. O, how free, how engaged and affectionate did these appear in the service of God! they seemed willing to have their ears bored to the door posts of God’s house, and to be his servants for ever.

“Observing numbers in this excellent frame, and the assembly in general affected, and that by a divine influence, I thought it proper to improve this advantageous season as Hezekiah did the desirable season of his great passover, 2 Chron. 31, in order to promote the blessed reformation begun among them; and to engage those that appeared serious and religious to persevere therein. Accordingly I proposed to them, that they should renewedly enter into covenant before God, that they would watch over themselves and one another, lest they should dishonor the name of Christ by falling into sinful and unbecoming practices; and especially that they would watch against the sin of drunkenness, ‘the sin that easily besets them,’ and the temptations leading thereto, as well as the appearance of evil in that respect. They cheerfully complied with the proposal, and explicitly joined in that covenant; whereupon I proceeded in the most solemn manner of which I was capable, to call God to witness respecting their sacred engagements, and reminded them of the greatness of the guilt they would contract to themselves in the violation of it, as well as observed to them that God would be a terrible witness against those, who should presume to do so in the great and notable day of the Lord. It was a season of amazing solemnity; and a divine awe appeared upon the face of the whole assembly in this transaction. Affectionate sobs, sighs and tears were now frequent in the audience; and I doubt not but that many silent cries were then sent up to the Fountain of grace for supplies of grace sufficient for the fulfilment of these solemn engagements.

Lord’s day, May 4.—“My people being now removed to their lands, mentioned in my diary of March 24, where they were then and have since been making provision for a compact settlement, in order to their more convenient enjoyment of the Gospel and other means of instruction, as well as of the comforts of life; I this day visited them; being now obliged to board with an English family at some distance from them; and preached to them in the forenoon from Mark, 4:5. Endeavored to show them the reason there was to fear, lest many promising appearances and hopeful beginnings in religion might prove abortive, like the seed dropped upon stony places.

“In the afternoon discoursed upon Rom. 8:9. ‘Now, if any man have not the spirit of Christ, he is none of his.’ I have reason to think this discourse was peculiarly seasonable, and that it had a good effect upon some of the hearers. Spent some hours afterward in private conference with my people, and labored to regulate some things which I apprehended amiss among some of them.

May 5.—“Visited my people again, and took care of their worldly concerns; giving them directions relating to their business. I daily discover more and more of what importance it is likely to be to their religious interests, that they become laborious and industrious, acquainted with the affairs of husbandry, and able in a good measure to raise the necessaries and comforts of life within themselves; for their present method of living greatly exposes them to temptations of various kinds.

May 9.—“Preached from John, 5:40, in the open wilderness; the Indians having as yet no house for public worship in this place, nor scarcely any shelters for themselves. Divine truths made considerable impressions upon the audience, and it was a season of great solemnity, tenderness, and affection.

“This day received into communion the conjurer, murderer, &c. mentioned in my diary of August 8, 1745, and February 1, 1746, who appears to be such a remarkable instance of divine grace that I cannot omit to give some brief account of him here. He lived near, and sometimes attended my meeting at the Forks of Delaware, for more than a year; but was, like many others of them, extremely attached to strong drink, and seemed to be in no degree reformed by the means which I used with them for their instruction and conversion. At this time he likewise murdered a likely young Indian, which threw him into some kind of horror and desperation, so that he kept at a distance from me, and refused to hear me preach for several months together, until I had an opportunity of conversing freely with him, and giving him encouragement, that his sin might be forgiven, for Christ’s sake. After this he again attended my meeting sometimes.

“But that which was the worst of all his conduct, was his conjuration. He was one of those who are sometimes called powaws among the Indians; and, notwithstanding his frequent attendance upon my preaching, he still followed his old charms and juggling tricks, ‘giving out that himself was some great one, and to him they gave heed,’ supposing him to be possessed of great power. When I have instructed them respecting the miracles wrought by Christ in healing the sick, &c. and mentioned them as evidence of his divine mission, and the truths of his doctrine; they have quickly observed the wonders of that kind which this man had performed by his magic charms. Hence they had a high opinion of him and his superstitious notions; which seemed to be a fatal obstruction to some of them in regard to their receiving the Gospel. I had often thought that it would be a great favor to the design of evangelizing these Indians, if God would take that wretch out of the world; for I had scarcely any hope of his ever becoming good. But God, whose thoughts are not as man’s thoughts, has been pleased to take a much more desirable method with him; a method agreeable to his own merciful nature, and I trust advantageous to his own interest among the Indians, as well as effectual to the salvation of his poor soul. To God be the glory of it.

“The first genuine concern for his soul was excited by seeing my interpreter and his wife publicly profess Christ, at the Forks of Delaware, July 21, 1745; which so prevailed upon him, that with the invitation of an Indian who was a friend to Christianity, he followed me down to Crossweeksung, in the beginning of August, in order to hear me preach; and there continued for several weeks in the season of the most remarkable and powerful awakening among the Indians; at which time he was more effectually awakened, and brought under great concern for his soul. And then, he says, upon his ‘feeling the word of God in his heart,’ as he expresses it, his spirit of conjuration left him entirely, so that he has had no more power of that nature since, than any other man living. He also declares, that he does not now so much as know how he used to charm and conjure, and that he could not now do any thing of that nature if he were ever so desirous of it.

“He continued under convictions of his sinful and perishing state, and a considerable degree of concern for his soul, all the fall and the former part of the winter past; but was not so deeply exercised until some time in January. Then the word of God took such hold upon him that he was brought into deep distress, and knew not what to do, nor where to turn himself. He then told me, that when he used to hear me preach from time to time in the fall of the year, my preaching pricked his heart, and made him very uneasy, but did not bring him to so great distress, because he still hoped he could do something for his own relief; but now, he said, I drove him up in such a sharp corner, that he had no way to turn, and could not avoid being in distress. He continued constantly under the heavy burden and pressure of a wounded spirit, until at length he was brought into the acute anguish and utmost agony of soul, mentioned in my Journal of February 1, which continued that night and part of the next day. After this he was brought to the utmost calmness and composure of mind; his trembling and heavy burden were removed; and he appeared perfectly sedate, although he had to his apprehensions scarcely any hope of salvation.

“I observed him to appear remarkably composed; and therefore asked him how he did? He replied, ‘It is done, it is done, it is all done now.’ I asked him what he meant? He answered, ‘I can never do any more to save myself; it is all done for ever. I can do no more.’ I queried with him, whether he could not do a little more, rather than go to hell? He replied, ‘my heart is dead. I can never help myself.’ I asked him what he thought would become of him then? He answered, ‘I must go to hell.’ I asked him if he thought it was right that God should send him to hell? He replied, ‘O it is right. The devil has been in me ever since I was born.’ I asked him if he felt this when he was in such great distress the evening before? He answered, ‘No; I did not then think it was right. I thought God would send me to hell, and that I was then dropping into it; but my heart quarrelled with God, and would not say it was right he should send me there. But now I know it is right; for I have always served the devil; and my heart has no goodness in it now, but it is as bad as ever it was,’ &c. I thought I had scarcely ever seen any person more effectually brought off from a dependance upon his own contrivances and endeavors for salvation, or more apparently to lie at the foot of sovereign mercy, than this man did under these views of things.

“In this frame of mind he continued for several days, passing sentence of condemnation upon himself, and constantly owning that it would be right he should be damned, and that he expected this would be his portion for the greatness of his sins. Yet it was plain that he had a secret hope of mercy, though imperceptible to himself, which kept him not only from despair but from any pressing distress: so that, instead of being sad and dejected, his very countenance appeared pleasant and agreeable.

“While he was in this frame he several times asked me ‘When I would preach again?’ and seemed desirous to hear the word of God every day. I asked, ‘Why he wanted to hear me preach, seeing his heart was dead, and all was done; that he could never help himself, and expected that he must go to hell?’ He replied, ‘I love to hear you speak about Christ for all.’ I added, 'But what good will that do you, if you must go to hell at last?'—using now his own language with him, having before from time to time labored in the best manner I could to represent to him the excellency of Christ, his all-sufficiency and willingness to save lost sinners, and persons just in his case; although to no purpose, as to yielding him any special comfort. He answered, ‘I would have others come to Christ, if I must go to hell myself.’ It was remarkable, that he seemed to have a great love for the people of God; and nothing affected him so much as the thought of being separated from them. This seemed to be a very dreadful part of the hell to which he saw himself doomed. It was likewise remarkable, that in this season he was most diligent in the use of all the means for the soul’s salvation; although he had the clearest view of the inefficiency of means to afford him help. He would frequently say, that all he did signified nothing at all; and yet was never more constant in doing; attending secret and family prayer daily, and surprisingly diligent and attentive in hearing the word of God; so that he neither despaired of mercy, nor yet presumed to hope upon his own doings, but used means because appointed of God in order to salvation; and because he would wait upon God in his own way.

“After he had continued in this frame of mind more than a week, while I was discoursing publicly, he seemed to have a lively soul-refreshing view of the excellency of Christ and the way of salvation by him, which melted him into tears, and filled him with admiration, comfort, satisfaction and praise to God. Since then he has appeared to be a humble, devout and affectionate Christian; serious and exemplary in his conversation and behavior, frequently complaining of his barrenness, his want of spiritual warmth, life and activity, and yet frequently favored with quickening and refreshing influences. In all respects, so far as I am capable of judging, he bears the marks of one ‘created anew in Christ Jesus to good works.’