CHAPTER IX

CHAPTER IX.

From the close of his Public Journal, June 19, 1746, to his death—continuance of labor at Crossweeksung and Cranberry—journey with six Christian Indians to the Susquehanna, and labors there—return to Crossweeksung—compelled by prostration of health to have the Indians—confinement by sickness at Elizabethtown—farewell visit to the Indians—his brother John succeeds him as a Missionary—arrival among his friends in Connecticut—visit to President Edwards in Northampton—journey to Boston, where he is brought near to death—usefulness in Boston—returns to Northampton—triumphs of grace in his last sickness—death.

Lord’s day, June 29, 1746.—“Preached both parts of the day, from John, 14:19. God was pleased to assist me, to afford me both freedom and power, especially toward the close of my discourses forenoon and afternoon. God’s power appeared in the assembly, in both exercises. Numbers of God’s people were refreshed and melted with divine things; one or two comforted, who had been long under distress; convictions, in divers instances, were powerfully revived; and one man in years was much awakened, who had not long frequented our meeting, and appeared before as stupid as a stock. God amazingly renewed and lengthened out my strength. I was so spent at noon that I could scarcely walk, and all my joints trembled so that I could not sit, nor so much as hold my hand still; and yet God strengthened me to preach with power in the afternoon, although I had given out word to my people, that I did not expect to be able to do it. Spent some time afterward in conversing, particularly, with several persons, about their spiritual state; and had some satisfaction concerning one or two. Prayed afterward with a sick child, and gave a word of exhortation. Was assisted in all my work. Blessed be God! Returned home with more health than I had in the morning, although my linen was wringing wet upon me, from a little after ten, till past five in the afternoon. My spirits also were considerably refreshed; and my soul rejoiced in hope, that I had through grace done something for God. In the evening walked out, and enjoyed a sweet season in secret prayer and praise. But O I found the truth of the Psalmist’s words, ‘My goodness extendeth not to thee!’ I could not make any returns to God; I longed to live only to him, and to be in tune for his praise and service for ever. Oh for spirituality and holy fervency, that I might spend and be spent for God to my latest moment.moment.

July 10.—“Spent most of the day in writing. Toward night rode to Mr. Tennent’s; enjoyed some agreeable conversation; went home in the evening, in a solemn, sweet frame of mind; was refreshed in secret duties, longed to live wholly and only for God, and saw plainly there was nothing in the world worthy of my affection—my heart was dead to all below; yet not through dejection, as at some times, but from views of a better inheritance.

July 12.—“This day was spent in fasting and prayer by my congregation, as preparatory to the Lord’s supper. I discoursed, both parts of the day, from Rom. 4:25, ‘Who was delivered for our offences,’ &c. God gave me some assistance, and something of divine power attended the word; so that this was an agreeable season. Afterward led them to a solemn renewal of their covenant, and fresh dedication of themselves to God. This was a season both of solemnity and sweetness, and God seemed to be ‘in the midst of us.’ Returned to my lodgings in the evening, in a comfortable frame of mind.

Lord’s day, July 13.—“In the forenoon, discoursed on the ‘bread of life,’ from John, 6:35. God gave me some assistance, in a part of my discourse especially; and there appeared some tender affection in the assembly under divine truth; my soul also was somewhat refreshed. Administered the Lord’s supper to thirty-one of the Indians. God seemed to be present in this ordinance; the communicants were sweetly melted and refreshed. O how they melted, even when the elements were first uncovered! There was scarcely a dry eye among them, when I took off the linen, and showed them the symbols of Christ’s broken body. Having rested a little, after the administration of the ordinance, I visited the communicants, and found them generally in a sweet loving frame; not unlike what appeared among them on the former sacramental occasion, April 27. In the afternoon, discoursed upon coming to Christ, and the satisfaction of those who do so, from the same verse I insisted on in the forenoon. This was likewise an agreeable season, one of much tenderness, affection, and enlargement in divine service; and God, I am persuaded, crowned our assembly with his presence. I returned home much spent, yet rejoicing in the goodness of God.

July 14.—“Went to my people, and discoursed to them from Psalm 119:106, ‘I have sworn, and I will perform it,’ &c. Observed, (1.) that all God’s judgments or commandments are righteous. (2.) That God’s people have sworn to keep them; and this they do especially at the Lord’s table. There appeared to be a powerful divine influence on the assembly, and considerable melting under the word. Afterward I led them to a renewal of their covenant before God, that they would watch over themselves and one another, lest they should fall into sin, and dishonor the name of Christ. This transaction was attended with great solemnity; and God seemed to own it by exciting in them a fear and jealousy of themselves, lest they should sin against God; so that the presence of God seemed to be among us in this conclusion of the sacramental solemnity.

July 21.—“Preached to the Indians, chiefly for the sake of some strangers; proposed my design of taking a journey speedily to the Susquehanna; exhorted my people to pray for me, that God would be with me in that journey; and then chose divers persons of the congregation to travel with me. Afterward spent some time in discoursing to the strangers, and was somewhat encouraged with them. Took care of my people’s secular business, and was not a little exercised with it. Had some degree of composure and comfort in secret retirement.

July 22.—“Was in a dejected frame most of the day; wanted to wear out life, and have it at an end; but had some desires of living to God, and wearing out life for him. Oh that I could indeed do so!”

July 29.—“My mind was cheerful, and free from the melancholy with which I am often exercised; had freedom in looking up to God at various times in the day. In the evening I enjoyed a comfortable season in secret prayer; was helped to plead with God for my own dear people, that he would carry on his own blessed work among them; and assisted in praying for the divine presence to attend me in my intended journey to the Susquehanna. I scarce knew how to leave the throne of grace, and it grieved me that I was obliged to go to bed; I longed to do something for God, but knew not how. Blessed be God for this freedom from dejection!

July 30.—“Was uncommonly comfortable, both in body and mind; in the forenoon especially, my mind was solemn; I was assisted in my work, and God seemed to be near to me; so that the day was as comfortable as most I have enjoyed for some time. In the evening was favored with assistance in secret prayer, and felt much as I did the evening before. Blessed be God for that freedom I then enjoyed at the throne of grace, for myself, my people, and my dear friends!

August 1.—“In the evening enjoyed a sweet season in secret prayer; clouds of darkness and perplexing care were sweetly scattered, and nothing anxious remained. O how serene was my mind at this season! how free from that distracting concern I have often felt! ‘Thy will be done,’ was a petition sweet to my soul; and if God had bid me choose for myself in any affair, I should have chosen rather to have referred the choice to him; for I saw he was infinitely wise, and could not do any thing amiss, as I was in danger of doing. Was assisted in prayer for my dear flock, that God would promote his own work among them, and go with me in my intended journey to the Susquehanna; was helped to remember my dear friends in New-England, and my dear brethren in the ministry. I found enough in the sweet duty of prayer to have engaged me to continue in it the whole night, would my bodily state have admitted of it. O how sweet it is, to be enabled heartily to say, ‘Lord, not my will, but thine be done.’

August 2.—“Near night, preached from Matt. 11:29. ‘Take my yoke upon you,’ &c. Was considerably helped, and the presence of God seemed to be somewhat remarkably in the assembly; divine truth made powerful impressions, both upon saints and sinners. Blessed be God for such a revival among us! In the evening was very weary, but found my spirits supported and refreshed.

August 7.—“Rode to my house where I spent the last winter, in order to bring some things I needed for my Susquehanna journey; was refreshed to see that place, which God so marvellously visited with the showers of his grace. O how amazing did the power of God often appear there! ‘Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.’

August 9.—“In the afternoon visited my people; set their affairs in order as much as possible, and contrived for them the management of their worldly business; discoursed to them in a solemn manner, and concluded with prayer. Was composed and comfortable in the evening, and somewhat fervent in secret prayer; had some sense and view of the eternal world; and found a serenity of mind. O that I could magnify the Lord for any freedom which he affords me in prayer!

Lord’s day, Aug. 10.—“Discoursed to my people both parts of the day, from Acts, 3:19, ‘Repent ye, therefore,’ &c. In discoursing of repentance, in the forenoon, God helped me, so that my discourse was searching; some were in tears, both of the Indians and white people, and the word of God was attended with some power. In the intermission I was engaged in conversing on their spiritual state, one of whom had very recently found comfort, after spiritual trouble and distress. In the afternoon was somewhat assisted again, though weak and weary. Three persons this day made a public profession of their faith. Was in a comfortable frame in the evening, and enjoyed some satisfaction in secret prayer. I have rarely felt myself so full of tenderness as this day.

August 11.—“Being about to set out on a journey to the Susquehanna the next day, with leave of Providence, I spent some time this day in prayer with my people, that God would bless and succeed my intended journey, that he would send forth his blessed Spirit with his word, and set up his kingdom among the poor Indians in the wilderness. While I was opening and applying part of the 110th and 111th Psalms, the power of God seemed to descend on the assembly in some measure; and while I was making the first prayer, numbers were melted, and I found some affectionate enlargement of soul myself. Preached from Acts, 4:31, ‘And when they had prayed, the place was shaken,’ &c. God helped me, and my interpreter also; there was a shaking and melting among us; and several, I doubt not, were in some measure ‘filled with the Holy Ghost.’ Afterward, Mr. Macnight prayed; and I then opened the two last stanzas of the 72d Psalm; at which time God was present with us; especially while I insisted upon the promise of all nations blessing the great Redeemer. My soul was refreshed, to think that this day,day, this blessed, glorious season, should surely come; and I trust numbers of my dear people were also refreshed. Afterward prayed; had some freedom, but was almost spent; then walked out, and left my people to carry on religious exercises among themselves. They prayed repeatedly, and sung, while I rested and refreshed myself. Afterward went to the meeting, prayed with, and dismissed the assembly. Blessed be God, this has been a day of grace. There were many tears and affectionate sobs among us this day. In the evening my soul was refreshed in prayer; enjoyed liberty at the throne of grace, in praying for my people and friends, and the church of God in general. 'Bless the Lord, O my soul.'”

The next day he set out on his journey toward the Susquehanna, and six of his Christian Indians with him, whom he had chosen out of his congregation, as those he judged most fit to assist him in the business upon which he was going. He took his way through Philadelphia; intending to go to the Susquehanna, far down, where it is settled by the white people, below the country inhabited by the Indians; and so to travel up the river to the Indian habitations. For although this was much farther, yet hereby he avoided the mountains and hideous wilderness that must be crossed in the nearer way; which in time past he found to be extremely difficult and fatiguing.