1845-1846 (2)

After I had spent a few hours in prayer and consideration over the subject, I began already to see that the Lord would lead me to build, and that his intentions were not only the benefit of the orphans and the better ordering of the whole work, but also the bearing still further testimony that he could and would provide large sums for those who need them and trust in him for them; and besides, that he would enlarge the work, so that, if I once did build a house, it might be large enough to accommodate three hundred orphans, with their teachers and other overseers and servants needful for the work. Concerning this latter point, I think it important to remark, that during no period had the number of the applications for the admission of orphans been greater than just before I was led to think about building, so that it was quite painful to me not to be able to comply with the wishes of all the many persons who applied for the admission of orphans. There were many waiting for admission, particularly orphan boys.

In the afternoon of November 3, 1845, I laid the matter before my fellow-laborers in the church (eight in number), to get their judgment, whether I ought not to leave Wilson Street, and to build. All judged that I ought to leave Wilson Street, and none saw reasons against building.

On Nov. 4, my dear wife and I began to meet for prayer about this matter, and purposed to do so morning by morning. We asked God for clearer light concerning the particular points connected with the subject; and being assured that it was his will that I should build, I began asking the Lord for means.

On Nov. 7, I judged, having considered the matter more fully, that sufficiently large premises to furnish all needful accommodation for three hundred children (from their earliest days up to fifteen or sixteen years old), together with a sufficiently large piece of ground in the neighborhood of Bristol, for building the premises upon, and the remainder for cultivation by the spade, would cost at least ten thousand pounds. I was not discouraged by this, but trusted in the living God.

We continued meeting for prayer morning by morning for fifteen days, but not a single donation came in; yet my heart was not discouraged. The more I prayed, the more assured I was that the Lord would give the means. Yea, as fully assured was I that the Lord would do so, as if I had already seen the new premises actually before me. This assurance arose not from some vague, enthusiastical feeling, the mere excitement of the moment, but, 1. From the reasons already related, and especially from the commandment contained in Philip. iv. 5. For I saw that I should not act according to the mind of our Lord Jesus if I did not, as soon as I could, remove the orphans from Wilson Street, as it had been stated to me, in the letter above referred to, that their living there was an annoyance to some of the inhabitants in that street. 2. This assurance that I should build an Orphan House arose further from the whole way in which the Lord had been pleased to lead me in connection with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad since its beginning on March 5, 1834, i. e. he has been leading me forward as by an unseen hand, and enlarging the work more and more from its commencement, and, generally, without my seeking after it, and bringing things so clearly before me that I could not but see that I ought to go forward. 3. Lastly and chiefly, this, my assurance that I should build unto the Lord this house of mercy, arose also particularly from this, that having strictly examined my heart as to the motives for doing so, I found that, as before God, I could say that my only motives were his honor and glory, and the welfare of the church of Christ at large, the real temporal and spiritual welfare of destitute orphans, and the welfare of all those who might take care of them, in the building to be erected. And finding that, after praying again and again about the matter, I still remained in perfect peace, I judged it assuredly to be the will of God that I should go forward.

On Nov. 15, brother R. C. arrived, to labor for a little while in Bristol. I communicated to him my position with reference to having to remove the orphans from Wilson Street, and I had his judgment also as to its being of God that I should build. This dear brother’s judgment greatly encouraged me. His visit was to me of great help in this particular, especially in stirring me up yet more to bring everything in connection with this matter before God. He also laid it on my heart to seek direction from God with reference to the plan of the building. He said, “You must ask help from God to show you the plan, so that all may be according to the mind of God.”

Up to Dec. 9, thirty-five days had passed away, whilst I was day by day waiting upon God for means for this work, and not a single penny had been given to me. Nevertheless, this did not in the least discourage me, but my assurance that God, in his own time and in his own way, would give the means, increased more and more. The portion which came in course of my meditation on the New Testament, was the beginning of the epistle of James. More than at any period in my life was I struck with these verses: “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations (i. e. trials); knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James i. 2-4. It was especially the last verse, “But let patience have her perfect work,” etc., which I found of exceeding great importance with reference to the building of the Orphan House. It led out my soul in prayer day after day, to ask the Lord to increase my faith, and to sustain my patience. I had these verses so impressed upon my heart that I could not but think that God meant particularly to bless me by them, with regard to the work before me, and that I should especially need patience as well as faith.

On the thirty-sixth day after having begun to pray, Dec. 10, 1845, I received one thousand pounds towards the building of the Orphan House. This is the largest donation that I had received up to that time for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution; but when I received it I was as calm, as quiet, as if I had only received one shilling. For my heart was looking out for answers. Day by day I was expecting to receive answers to my prayers. Therefore, having faith concerning the matter, this donation did not in the least surprise me. Yea, if five thousand pounds or ten thousand pounds had been given to me, instead of one thousand pounds, it would not have surprised me.

Dec. 13. On the thirty-ninth day my sister-in-law, who had been for some weeks absent in London, and who had now returned to Bristol, told me that she had met a gentleman in London, who, having quite recently read with deep interest the Narrative of the Lord’s dealings with me, wished to know as many particulars about the work in my hands as he could. Being told by my sister-in-law that I purposed to build an Orphan Mouse, he, an architect, offered to make the plan, and superintend the building gratuitously. Unsolicited, he pressed this matter upon her with deep and lively interest. I hear also that he is a Christian. The fact that this offer comes unsolicited, and from a Christian architect, shows especially the hand of God. This is the second proof that God will help me in this matter.

Dec. 23. This is now the fiftieth day since I have come to the conclusion to build, and the forty-ninth day since we have been daily waiting upon God for help. Nothing more has come in since Dec. 10, not even one penny. This morning I have been particularly encouraged by the consideration that the Lord has sent me the one thousand pounds, and the promise from that pious architect, whom I have never seen, and of whose name I am as yet in ignorance, not to mock me, but as an earnest that he will give all that is needed.

It seems desirable that we should have a large piece of ground, at least six or seven acres. This piece of ground must be in the vicinity of Bristol: 1. In order that the Orphan House may be accessible to me, as my place at present is fixed by my other work in Bristol. 2. That the laborers in the Institution, and the orphans may be able to attend our meetings, at least on the Lord’s day. For if meetings were held on purpose in the Orphan House, either the laborers or the children would not be benefited by them in that measure in which it is desirable. 3. That the inhabitants of Bristol may have the benefit of seeing with their own eyes this work of God, which is so manifestly his and not mine. 4. That strangers who pass through Bristol may have easy access to it, for the same reason. But then, such a piece of ground near Bristol, where there is just now such an inordinate desire for building, in the way of speculation, would cost, in all human probability, between two and three thousand pounds. Then the building itself, however plain, would not cost less than from six to eight thousand pounds, being for three hundred orphans, besides all their overseers, teachers, and assistants. In addition to this, the fitting up and furnishing the house for all these between three and four hundred inmates would not cost less than fifteen hundred pounds more. This is indeed a large sum of money which I need; but my hope is in God. I have not sought after this thing. It has not begun with me. God has altogether unexpectedly, by means of the letter before mentioned, led me to it. Only the day before I received the letter, I had no more thought about building premises for the accommodation of the orphans than I had had during the ten previous years. My especial prayer is that God would continue to me faith and patience. If he shall be pleased to help me in faith and patience to continue to wait on him, help will surely come.

Dec. 24. No further donation yet. But my hope in God is unshaken. He most assuredly will help. I have on purpose not issued any circular in connection with this matter, in order that the hand of God may be the more manifest. To some persons residing in or out of Bristol I have spoken about my intention of building, when conversation led to it. Through this, if the Lord please, he can make it known to others, and thus send means for the building fund. Or he can send in such an abundance of means for the work which is already in existence, that from that abundance there might be a rich surplus towards the building fund. But howsoever God may help, I do desire to see his hand made most manifest. There will be, no doubt, many trials connected with this enlargement of the field of labor (for if with the one hundred and thirty orphans there has been so much trial of faith, what is to be expected when the number is three hundred); and therefore I desire to see as clearly as daylight that God himself is leading me onward.

Dec. 29. This is the fifty-sixth day since I came to the conclusion to build, and the fifty-fifth since I have been day by day waiting upon God concerning it. Only that one donation had come in till this evening, when I received fifty pounds. This donation is exceedingly precious to me, not only because I am sure it is most cheerfully given, nor even because of its largeness, but because it is another precious proof that God will bring about the matter, else he would not give me these earnests. All my business therefore is, to continue in faith and patience to wait upon God. My assurance has been more and more increasing that God will build for himself a large Orphan House in this city, to show to the inhabitants, and to all who may read and hear about it, what a blessed thing it is to trust in him. Of late I have seen, by God’s grace, more and more how entirely unworthy I am of being used by God for this glorious and honorable service, and I can only say: “Lord, here is thy servant, if thou art pleased to use such a one as I am.”