A RELATION OF THE HOLY WAR (28)

Well, when the Diabolonian lords that were left perceived that Mansoul had, through sinning, offended Emmanuel their Prince, and that he had withdrawn himself and was gone, what do they but plot the ruin of the town of Mansoul.  So upon a time they met together at the hold of one Mr. Mischief, who was also a Diabolonian, and there consulted how they might deliver up Mansoul into the hands of Diabolus again.  Now some advised one way, and some another, every man according to his own liking.  At last my Lord Lasciviousness propounded, whether it might not be best, in the first place, for some of those that were Diabolonians in Mansoul, to adventure to offer themselves for servants to some of the natives of the town; ‘for,’ said he, ‘if they so do, and Mansoul shall accept of them, they may for us, and for Diabolus our Lord, make the taking of the town of Mansoul more easy than otherwise it will be.’  But then stood up the Lord Murder, and said, ‘This may not be done at this time; for Mansoul is now in a kind of a rage, because by our friend, Mr. Carnal-Security, she hath been once ensnared already, and made to offend against her Prince; and how shall she reconcile herself unto her lord again, but by the heads of these men?  Besides, we know that they have in commission to take and slay us wherever they shall find us; let us, therefore, be wise as foxes: when we are dead, we can do them no hurt; but while we live, we may.’  Thus, when they had tossed the matter to and fro, they jointly agreed that a letter should forthwith be sent away to Diabolus in their name, by which the state of the town of Mansoul should be showed him, and how much it is under the frowns of their Prince.  ‘We may also,’ said some, ‘let him know our intentions, and ask of him his advice in the case.’

So a letter was presently framed, the contents of which were these:—

‘To our great lord, the Prince Diabolus, dwelling below in the infernal cave:

‘O great father, and mighty Prince Diabolus, we, the true Diabolonians yet remaining in the rebellious town of Mansoul, having received our beings from thee, and our nourishment at thy hands, cannot with content and quiet endure to behold, as we do this day, how thou art dispraised, disgraced, and reproached among the inhabitants of this town; nor is thy long absence at all delightful to us, because greatly to our detriment.

‘The reason of this our writing unto our lord, is for that we are not altogether without hope that this town may become thy habitation again; for it is greatly declined from its Prince Emmanuel; and he is uprisen, and is departed from them: yea, and though they send, and send, and send, and send after him to return to them, yet can they not prevail, nor get good words from him.

‘There has been also of late, and is yet remaining, a very great sickness and fainting among them; and that not only upon the poorer sort of the town, but upon the lords, captains, and chief gentry of the place, (we only who are of the Diabolonians by nature remain well, lively, and strong,) so that through their great transgression on the one hand, and their dangerous sickness on the other, we judge they lie open to thy hand and power.  If, therefore, it shall stand with thy horrible cunning, and with the cunning of the rest of the princes with thee, to come and make an attempt to take Mansoul again, send us word, and we shall to our utmost power be ready to deliver it into thy hand.  Or if what we have said shall not by thy fatherhood be thought best and most meet to be done, send us thy mind in a few words, and we are all ready to follow thy counsel to the hazarding of our lives, and what else we have.

‘Given under our hands the day and date above-written, after a close consultation at the house of Mr. Mischief, who yet is alive and hath his place in our desirable town of Mansoul.’

When Mr. Profane (for he was the carrier) was come with his letter to Hell-Gate Hill, he knocked at the brazen gates for entrance.  Then did Cerberus, the porter, for he is the keeper of that gate, open to Mr. Profane, to whom he delivered his letter, which he had brought from the Diabolonians in Mansoul.  So he carried it in, and presented it to Diabolus his lord, and said, ‘Tidings, my lord, from Mansoul, from our trusty friends in Mansoul.’

Then came together from all places of the den Beelzebub, Lucifer, Apollyon, with the rest of the rabblement there, to hear what news from Mansoul.  So the letter was broken up and read, and Cerberus he stood by.  When the letter was openly read, and the contents thereof spread into all the corners of the den, command was given that, without let or stop, dead-man’s bell should be rung for joy.  So the bell was rung, and the princes rejoiced that Mansoul was likely to come to ruin.  Now, the clapper of the bell went, ‘The town of Mansoul is coming to dwell with us: make room for the town of Mansoul.’  This bell therefore they did ring, because they did hope that they should have Mansoul again.

Now, when they had performed this their horrible ceremony, they got together again to consult what answer to send to their friends in Mansoul; and some advised one thing, and some another: but at length, because the business required haste, they left the whole business to the prince Diabolus, judging him the most proper lord of the place.  So he drew up a letter as he thought fit, in answer to what Mr. Profane had brought, and sent it to the Diabolonians that did dwell in Mansoul, by the same hand that had brought theirs to him; and these were the contents thereof:—

‘To our offspring, the high and mighty Diabolonians that yet dwell in the town of Mansoul, Diabolus, the great prince of Mansoul, wisheth a prosperous issue and conclusion of those many brave enterprises, conspiracies, and designs, that you, of your love and respect to our honour, have in your hearts to attempt to do against Mansoul.  Beloved children and disciples, my Lord Fornication, Adultery, and the rest, we have here, in our desolate den, received, to our highest joy and content, your welcome letter, by the hand of our trusty Mr. Profane; and to show how acceptable your tidings were, we rang out our bell for gladness; for we rejoiced as much as we could, when we perceived that yet we had friends in Mansoul, and such as sought our honour and revenge in the ruin of the town of Mansoul.  We also rejoiced to hear that they are in a degenerated condition, and that they have offended their Prince, and that he is gone.  Their sickness also pleaseth us, as does also your health, might, and strength.  Glad also would we be, right horribly beloved, could we get this town into our clutches again.  Nor will we be sparing of spending our wit, our cunning, our craft, and hellish inventions to bring to a wished conclusion this your brave beginning in order thereto.

‘And take this for your comfort, (our birth, and our offspring,) that shall we again surprise it and take it, we will attempt to put all your foes to the sword, and will make you the great lords and captains of the place.  Nor need you fear, if ever we get it again, that we after that shall be cast out any more; for we will come with more strength, and so lay far more fast hold than at the first we did.  Besides, it is the law of that Prince that now they own, that if we get them a second time, they shall be ours for ever.

‘Do you, therefore, our trusty Diabolonians, yet more pry into, and endeavour to spy out the weakness of the town of Mansoul.  We also would that you yourselves do attempt to weaken them more and more.  Send us word also by what means you think we had best to attempt the regaining thereof: namely, whether by persuasion to a vain and loose life; or, whether by tempting them to doubt and despair; or, whether by blowing up of the town by the gunpowder of pride, and self-conceit.  Do you also, O ye brave Diabolonians, and true sons of the pit, be always in a readiness to make a most hideous assault within, when we shall be ready to storm it without.  Now speed you in your project, and we in our desires, to the utmost power of our gates, which is the wish of your great Diabolus, Mansoul’s enemy, and him that trembles when he thinks of judgment to come.  All the blessings of the pit be upon you, and so we close up our letter.

‘Given at the pit’s mouth, by the joint consent of all the princes of darkness, to be sent, to the force and power that we have yet remaining in Mansoul, by the hand of Mr. Profane, by me, Diabolus.’

This letter, as was said, was sent to Mansoul, to the Diabolonians that yet remained there, and that yet inhabited the wall, from the dark dungeon of Diabolus, by the hand of Mr. Profane, by whom they also in Mansoul sent theirs to the pit.  Now, when this Mr. Profane had made his return, and was come to Mansoul again, he went and came as he was wont to the house of Mr. Mischief, for there was the conclave, and the place where the contrivers were met.  Now, when they saw that their messenger was returned safe and sound, they were greatly gladded thereat.  Then he presented them with his letter which he had brought from Diabolus for them; the which, when they had read and considered, did much augment their gladness.  They asked him after the welfare of their friends, as how their Lord Diabolus, Lucifer, and Beelzebub did, with the rest of those of the den.  To which this Profane made answer, ‘Well, well, my lords; they are well, even as well as can be in their place.  They also,’ said he, ‘did ring for joy at the reading of your letter, as you well perceived by this when you read it.’

Now, as was said, when they had read their letter, and perceived that it encouraged them in their work, they fell to their way of contriving again, namely, how they might complete their Diabolonian design upon Mansoul.  And the first thing that they agreed upon was to keep all things from Mansoul as close as they could.  ‘Let it not be known, let not Mansoul be acquainted with what we design against it.’  The next thing was, how, or by what means, they should try to bring to pass the ruin and overthrow of Mansoul; and one said after this manner, and another said after that.  Then stood up Mr. Deceit, and said, ‘My right Diabolonian friends, our lords, and the high ones of the deep dungeon, do propound unto us these three ways.

‘1. Whether we had best to seek its ruin by making Mansoul loose and vain.

‘2. Or whether by driving them to doubt and despair.

‘3. Or whether by endeavouring to blow them up by the gunpowder of pride and self-conceit.

‘Now, I think, if we shall tempt them to pride, that may do something; and if we tempt them to wantonness, that may help.  But, in my mind, if we could drive them into desperation, that would knock the nail on the head; for then we should have them, in the first place, question the truth of the love of the heart of their Prince towards them, and that will disgust him much.  This, if it works well, will make them leave off quickly their way of sending petitions to him; then farewell earnest solicitations for help and supply; for then this conclusion lies naturally before them, “As good do nothing, as do to no purpose.”’  So to Mr. Deceit they unanimously did consent.

Then the next question was, But how shall we do to bring this our project to pass? and it was answered by the same gentleman—that this might be the best way to do it: ‘Even let,’ quoth he, ‘so many of our friends as are willing to venture themselves for the promoting of their prince’s cause, disguise themselves with apparel, change their names, and go into the market like far country-men, and proffer to let themselves for servants to the famous town of Mansoul, and let them pretend to do for their masters as beneficially as may be; for by so doing they may, if Mansoul shall hire them, in little time so corrupt and defile the corporation, that her now Prince shall be not only further offended with them, but in conclusion shall spue them out of his mouth.  And when this is done, our prince Diabolus shall prey upon them with ease: yea, of themselves they shall fall into the mouth of the eater.’